The Anti-Family Culture

Motherhood seems to be having an anti-moment in popular culture this holiday season.  I was struck by this sentiment expressed by Jessica Hausner, director of a new woman-centric horror movie, in last Thursday's Wall Street Journal: "We're still living in a society where we all expect a mother to love her child, more than her job....  I think this needs to be adjusted."

My first thought was, "Yes, of course a mother should love her child more than her job.  How awful to think she might not."

My second thought was, "Why does gender come into this at all?  Don't we also expect a father to love his child more than his job?  If not, why all the furor that's been expended over workaholism, deadbeat dads, various Fatherhood movements?"

My third thought was, "Wait, this sounds familiar...."  Because I had just read a review of another current movie, starring two of the hottest stars in Hollywood, that claimed the movie expressed the same argument: "...the only way “equality” can work is if both parents can pursue their respective career ambitions, no matter the fallout."  

And I had also just read a review of an Emmy-winning TV show, in which the main character tearfully proclaims in divorce court, "I just can't be a wife right now."

In both movie and television show, a married couple with small child(ren) amicably divorce so that the woman can pursue her career.  Which I guess can be seen as believable in the short term, if you're a (checks fictional characters in question) research geneticist, actress/director, or stand-up comedian.  But that's definitely the 1% of women.  What if, instead, you're the nanny, school teacher, or day care worker whose job is to care for the children the 1% are too important and self-actualized to care for?  Are you then supposed to love your job (rich people's children) more than your own children?  

Or, at some point, somewhere far enough down the socio-economic ladder, is it okay for a woman to enjoy her family more than her job?  Or, for that matter, a man?