Friday, December 18, 2009

Speaking of bad Jane Austen sequels...

I saw 2 copies of Mr. Darcy, Vampyre at the used book store the other day. Apparently, the reason he was so cold to Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice wasn't his titular pride; it was because he borrowed a plot device from Twilight and was so attracted to her he was afraid he was going to tear her throat out in the throes of passion.

I suppose it's a rational progression from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. Personally, I'm waiting for Sense & Sensibility & SAW, in which Fanny Dashwood persuades her husband John to torment his half-sisters by placing them in contrived situations where they are forced to choose between maiming each other and torturous death and Willoughby reveals his villainy when he chooses to disembowel Marianne rather than face severe facial disfigurement.

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Yours sounds better, but *Sense & Sensibility and Sea Monsters* is already out. Stupid, that. *Persuasion* is the one that would have sea monsters.

I gave my *Buffy* pal Pat Leigh that vampire book for Christmas with the promise of borrowing it back if it was 1) good 2) so bad it's good. She made it all the way through the *Twilight* series I wouldn't even start so she's my go-to girl to filter horrible writing and/or lack of adherence to vampire rules. (It's called *sunlight,* Edward. It's why you shouldn't be able to go to high school.)

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