Why I will be letting my "Parenting" subscription lapse

Really, now that I've got past the new mom/stages of development years, the Parenting magazines only feed my feelings of contempt for modern family philosophy, and I don't think I need any encouragement to feel smug and superior.

From the pages of the February issue of "Parenting: School Years":

• The editorial from a random staff member congratulating herself on being a "good mother" because she doesn't let her six-year-old watch "Real Housewives" and doesn't introduce her dates to her son. Well, have a hero cookie. Is this how far we've lowered the parenting bar? Or merely the unavoidable endgame of the self-esteem movement? I refrained from running down pedestrians today. Does that make me Mother Teresa?


• A promo for a new book, ostensibly on parenting, by Brooke Burke entitled The Naked Mom. The author herself is on the cover posing nude. Yes, yes, everything's "covered," but still, to whom is this book being marketed? Is this a new trend? Will the latest edition of Miss Manners' etiquette guide feature her on the cover au naturel? Or does nudity merely sell parenting books? One hopes Drs. Brazelton and Sears can resist.


• A promo for a new feminist, anti-princess book with a cutesy graphic on which princesses the editorial staff approves of and which it condemns. No surprise, Ariel and Aurora get dissed ... as does Buttercup of "The Princess Bride" for "agree[ing] to marry sinister Prince Humperdinck right after her boyfriend Westley disappears." "Right after," four years later, whatever, right? (Don't pick on "The Princess Bride," people!)


• An article on sick days encouraging moms not to miss work if their child's not actually in the emergency room: "Gunky noses and hacking coughs are par for the course in classrooms during winter." Watch out, Doesn't-Introduce-Dates Mom; there's another entrant in the running for the Best-Mom-Ever award!


• An item admitting that "it's hard not to scowl when you catch your darling little boy brandishing his string cheese like a sword," even though "experts now say" it won't make him grow up into a serial killer. Snippy momlet on Facebook begs to differ: "War and violence are a big problem these days, so we shouldn't be making light of it." Yes, war and violence are a big problem "these days" -- as opposed to when, exactly? The Pax Romana? Way to have a sense of historical perspective.

Or maybe I'm just snarky because I didn't get to the magazine in time to enter all the monthly giveaways that expired February 15th....