The end for the Pooh?

This blogger laments the fact that the new Winnie-the-Pooh movie seems to have landed with a huge thud at the box office.  I have to admit to being part of the problem rather than part of the solution: I certainly didn't have the release date pencilled in on my calendar the way I did with "Cars 2."  Why?  Well, a plethora of reasons.

First is a fear of exactly what might pass for a Winnie-the-Pooh movie in this day and age.  I don't need to hear Eeyore making bodily-function noises or titter at Piglet talking about shiitake mushrooms.  And don't pretend that's not exactly what had the highest probability of happening.  From the reviews I've read, it didn't, but it was certainly a good possibility.

Second was my mature reaction to "The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh," the Pooh movie of my own childhood.  I had warm memories of it, but when I bought it for Faith and watched it with her, I was underwhelmed by the reality.  She never really took to it, either, mainly watching the disk for the episode of "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" in the bonus features.  (On an unrelated note, I can sell that back to Amazon for $37.25???  Dude!)

Third is the just-mentioned "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" itself.  Textbook preschool TV.  Faith loved it; I was bored stiff.  To some extent, Disney set this movie up for failure by defining Pooh as preschooler fare.  It's absolutely not true of the books.  I mentioned before about having Faith read Winnie-the-Pooh at age five to six; there's some quite advanced wordplay in there that went straight over her head.  But when Disney markets Pooh to babies and preschoolers, they can't be surprised when a new Pooh movie tanks.

Why?  Well, that would be point the fourth: Movies are too expensive to take very small children to (at least when the expectation is that they will be enjoyable only to very small children).  When I read the blog I opened the post with, my first inclination was to take the kids just to give Pooh moral support.  Then I figured out that for me, the kids, and Faith's friend Alyssa, I'd be paying $22 for a matinee and would still have to buy lunch for everyone.  And that's at the cheapest theater in this part of a town whose movie prices don't approach what they do on the coasts.  What if I had actual preschoolers, the age group to which Disney has marketed the Pooh IP?  Would I pay $22 to take them to a movie they're likely to sleep through or at least get bored and want to walk up and down the aisles?  Parents will pay more to take the family to a Pixar movie or the like because they believe there will be parts the kids enjoy as well as parts geared to the parents' enjoyment.  There's no promise of that in a Winnie-the-Pooh movie.

So, will I go see Pooh?  Probably, but not with an extra kid in the house to buy a ticket for, and only if it's still showing by the time I get around to it.  What does this mean for the Pooh brand?  Well, I'm sure Disney will still make money off it; there's lots of new moms out there buying Pooh layettes and such.  But I imagine this release has marked the end of Pooh as we have traditionally known him, at least.  The next Pooh movie will be 3D CGI, and they'll all be tweens in Hundred Acre Wood Junior High.