Another reason to despair of Western civilization

It's been a while since I made fun of "Parenting" magazine, right?  The December/January issue suggests Little Critter's The Night Before Christmas on the basis that it "offers a modern spin on the original's archaic language."  Archaic?  Really?  This isn't Beowulf or Chaucer.  It's not even Shakespeare.  And to make matters worse, the example given is that the book changes "Not a creature was stirring" to "Not a critter was stirring."  So "creature" is an archaic word that kids won't understand, while "critter" is "modern," as opposed to, say, dialect.  Who knew Elly May Clampett was so progressive in her speech patterns?